


battle royal(e)

by corviiid (unsungillumination)



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Fortnite AU, Gamer AU - Freeform, Gen, i don't even fucking know how to tag this, twitch streamer au, whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:09:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22418281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unsungillumination/pseuds/corviiid
Summary: Three months ago, Sylvain had run a moderately popular stream entitled “PRINCE DIMITRI PLAYS FORTNITE FOR THE FIRST TIME”, which had entailed Dimitri playing Fortnite for the first time. Things nobody had expected: Dimitri actually had really enjoyed it.‘It’ being Fortnite. Dimitri had really enjoyed Fortnite. Blaiddyd, comma Dimitri Alexandre, heir to the Faerghus throne. Had really enjoyed. Fortnite. Nite, comma Fort.(sylvain is a twitch streamer and dimitri is a newly turned gamer, like how you'd talk about a newly turned vampire, or something. commission forasa.)
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Sylvain Jose Gautier, Felix Hugo Fraldarius & Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 10
Kudos: 122





	battle royal(e)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alsahm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alsahm/gifts).



> for so long I resisted writing a fortnite au of any description but finally someone, fittingly my dear friend [asa lumenize](https://twitter.com/lumenize), has discovered what it takes to break me down and remove me from my integrity: giving me three dollars

“Okay,” says Sylvain, headset curled enticingly over his expertly gelled gamer hair. “So.”

‘So’ does not cover it. Three months ago, Sylvain had run a moderately popular stream entitled “PRINCE DIMITRI PLAYS FORTNITE FOR THE FIRST TIME”, which had entailed Dimitri playing Fortnite for the first time. Things nobody had expected: Dimitri actually had really enjoyed it.

‘It’ being Fortnite. Dimitri had really enjoyed Fortnite. Blaiddyd, comma Dimitri Alexandre, heir to the Faerghus throne. Had really enjoyed. Fortnite. Nite, comma Fort.

In another few days, Dimitri had appeared again on Sylvain’s moderately-if-growing channel for HIS HIGHNESS PLAYS MORE FORTNITE FT. ME, in which Prince Dimitri had made his own Fortnite account. This title, it turns out, had been somewhat of a misnomer, as the stream had entailed very little playing and quite a lot of account making.

The video:

dimitrialexandreblaiddyd is taken. So is dimitrialexandreblaiddyd2. Dimitri is very perplexed by this. How can this be. There is only one Dimitri, and definitely not two.

“Is someone out there using my mantel?” he asks Sylvain, very distressed, and Sylvain shrugs and suggests princedab.

Dimitri objects to his title. Sylvain, missing the point on purpose, says _that’s right, your coronation is soon, let’s make it kingdab_ , and then snatches the keyboard from Dimitri before he can spend any more time angsting over Fortnite usernames because he’s starting to get a headache. Dimitri, mournfully, relents. kingdab is born.

Several days after THIS video, Sylvain had gotten a VERY angry text message from Galatea comma Ingrid Brandl yelling at him for, get this, _getting Prince Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd hooked on Fortnite_ , to the point that he was now actually playing it more than sleeping, to which Sylvain had responded that well Dimitri honestly does not actually sleep that much anyway which is not and has never been Sylvain’s fault and at least now he’s doing something instead of sitting on the floor being depressed.

_Yes_ , Ingrid had rebutted, seething, _and that something is being yelled at by ten year olds while being depressed_. Sylvain had conceded at this point.

So.

Dimitri, playing possibly too much Fortnite, does not stream. Sylvain has asked him to. Doubtless the king of Fodlan streaming Fortnite would rake in the viewers. He would make bank, which, not needing it, he would donate to Sylvain, his Fortnite benefactor, who also does not need it but would spend it on cool stuff like wax statues of tyrannosaurus rexes to put in Roommate Felix’s bedroom while he’s sleeping. Then make bank on his own video of the following morning: FELIX MURDERS ME OVER COFFEE PROBABLY. Anyway, Dimitri does not know how the Twitch works, so he doesn’t stream.

Back to the right now, which is what is happening, as is how the present works. Sylvain is streaming: HUNTING FOR KING DIMITRI.

(In Fortnite.)

Thanks to exploiting the king, Sylvain’s moderately popular channel has ascended into upper-middle Twitch class. There are Viewers. Several Quite A Lot And Many of them. He has Fans.

“What’s up gamers,” says Sylvain, who is gamers. “So two months ago I introduced Prince Dimitri to Fortnite and created a monster so now he’s playing it ALL the time and WE are gonna go ONLINE and LOOK for him.”

Ingrid, in the chat: _You’re an idiot_.

This is touching. Not the idiot part, but that she watches his streams.

“If one of you guys finds him before me,” says Sylvain, “I’m giving away twenty signed things Felix owns that I stole.”

This excites the viewers. Sylvain holds up a fork. “Here is a genuine fork that Felix used,” says Sylvain. “First person to find Dimitri gets Gamer Boy Fork.”

Explanatory memorandum: Felix, Gamer Roommate, inexplicably is extremely popular with Sylvain’s newfound fans, and also hates this with a vicious passion. It doesn’t help that Sylvain, delighted by this, will now follow Felix around with a camera for full streams of No Gaming, Just Chasing Felix And Getting Inevitably Smacked In The Lens With A Pillow Or Possibly A Training Weight Which Hurts More. (These streams do very well.)

Sylvain explains this by: “You know how when celebrities have cats, everyone loves the cats more than the celebrities?” Felix shoves Sylvain out of his chair, live on camera, not clickbait.

Anyway, everyone wants the fork.

The search begins.

Things Sylvain hasn’t accounted for: Quite a lot of people play Fortnite, actually. Quite. A lot. Of people. Play. Fortnite. An hour has passed. The fork has been claimed but Felix’s bath towel hasn’t, until Felix himself storms in damp from the shower realises Sylvain is streaming and kicks over his entire setup, at which point the bath towel is claimed, by Felix, who has not noticed that Sylvain scribbled his signature on it in Sharpie and consequently is rubbing ink over his ass. He hasn’t noticed this either. Sylvain, on the floor, will not tell him.

He restarts the stream.

Dish towel held by Felix is up for grabs. kingdab has not been located by Sylvain.

KINGDAB IS LOCATED BY SYLVAIN. He is the first to thank the bus driver, which Sylvain notices before his actual name. He shouts, “KINGDAB!” which makes a hundred people at once complain that he’s shorting out their headphones. “FUCK YOU GUYS! KINGDAB! I FOUND HIM!”

He switches on voice chat at once, which typically he leaves off because fourteen year olds are mean in an accurate way, and shouts, “DIMITRI!” and is pleased to discover that as per his suspicions, Dimitri has voice chat on. Of course. He’s too polite not to communicate with his teammates. Dimitri will probably combust if he doesn’t thank everyone for their time at least once per interaction.

“ _Sylvain?_ ” comes Dimitri’s startled voice.

“FUCK YEAH!”

“ _Please don’t swear_ ,” Dimitri implores, “ _this is a family friendly game._ ”

Sylvain is dancing.

“ _Sylvain?_ ”

Sylvain is dancing.

_Does this mean I don’t get the dishtowel_ , asks one disappointed viewer, who is in the same game.

_Tell Dimitri to do his fucking job_ , invites Ingrid.

“What job,” says Sylvain.

“ _What?_ ” says Dimitri, who can’t see Sylvain’s chat.

_His job as the fucking king_ , says Ingrid.

“WHERE IS MY DISH TOWEL,” shouts Felix from the kitchen, even more irate than when he kicked Sylvain’s chair over live on camera wearing only underwear and a lot of water not clickbait. Sylvain decides this is a good time to end the stream, happily, before Felix commits murder live on camera not clickbait, so he says, “Dish towel goes to anyone who saves my life,” and then shuts off the stream and then vaults out the window to the fire escape so he can run to Dimitri’s place to keep playing Fortnite. By which he means the castle, which has pretty good Wi-fi.

**Author's Note:**

> i have never played fortnite. i literally don't even know what it is besides you fight people and there's a bus driver and dancing. i very determinedly did absolutely zero research for this fic because of all of my principles as a human being. do not explain fortnite to me. subscribe to sylvain on twitch


End file.
